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Post by anasa on Jul 15, 2008 12:08:56 GMT -5
AND the upcoming sequel! "Fractured Emblem: The Sacred Spoofs"!
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Post by Lan on Jul 15, 2008 12:14:04 GMT -5
you need to open each volume wit... -bonk-
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Post by Bastian Farix on Jul 15, 2008 12:16:00 GMT -5
Now that's a good pun. XD
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Post by anasa on Jul 17, 2008 18:14:53 GMT -5
Narrator: The secrets of her past revealed in the words of two knights of Lycia. Now, to meet her grandfather, Lyn heads west, to Lycia, and to her destiny. A mountain range separates the Sacae Plains from Bern. There are many bandits lurking here, the cruelest of which are the Taliver. They wreak havoc on both Sacae and Bern, and their savagery knows no bounds. On her tenth day away from the plains, Lyn witnesses their atrocities herself....or at least as much of it is allowed to be shown without an M rating.
-Chapter 3: Band of Mercenaries-
Lyn: This place...It's...
Sain: It's a total wreck, see?
Me: Grr...
Lyn: This is like...what happened to my people...
*goes into angst mode*
I will never forgive them. Never.
Sain: Lyndis...
Kent: .....
Lyn: I am not running away. I will find the man who is responsible and say "Hallo...my name is Lyndis. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Me: Erm....
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Post by anasa on Jul 17, 2008 18:40:15 GMT -5
Bandit: Wait right there, little lady! What are you going to do to apologize? Huh?
Florina: m....m....meep!
Other (Canadian?) Bandit: Hey, she's quite a catch, eh, buddy? I bet the boss'd give us a pretty penny for her.
Bandit: Yeah. It's only fair.
Florina: m-m-meeeep?? 0_0
Canadian Bandit: What about her flyin' mule, eh?
Florina: MEEPITY!!!!!
Canadian Bandit: You watch your mouth, girlie!
Florina: Meepity meep meep meepity, meep...Meep meepity meepity meep! Meep meepity!
Bandit: Ha ha ha! Silly twit! Pegasi can only be found in Ilia. They're rare beasts, worth more than you by far! We can sell it for a mountain of gold. "Let her go"? HA!
Florina: Meep, meep meepity...
Bandit: We can and we will. C'mon! Let's move!
Kent: What's this? Be on your gaurd, Lyndis. There seems to be some sort of commotion over there.
Lyn: That's...That's a pegasus. Could it be?
Lyn: Florina? Is that you, Florina?
Florina: Meep! Lyn?
Lyn: Florina! What are you doing in a place like this?
Florina: Lyn! Is that really you? I...I...
Lyn: Come now, no crying!
Florina: I'm sorry.
Kent: You are acquaintences?
Florina: MALE!!!! 0_0 MEEEEP!
Lyn: Um...she's a little uncomfortable around men.
Me: But she'll probably end up in a fanpairing, anyway. -_-|
Lyn: Tell me, Florina, what happened here?
Florina: Meep...muh...I mean...I heard that you left, so I came looking for you. You left without saying goodbye. It was so rude! I saw this village and I flew down to ask if they had news of you.
Me: You do realize that it's ruins, don't you?
Florina: Meep! It is???
Me: Never mind.
Florina: I didn't see these two and...well...
Lyn: Did your pegasus land on them?
Florina: Well, I...A little...
Canadian: Aha! You heard her! You HEARD what this was aboot! She admits her fault, buddy! She squashed my friend, and now she's got to pay!
Lyn: Did you apologize, Florina?
Florina: Meep. Meep meepity meep meep meep meep. Meep...meepity meep meep...
Lyn: Don't cry. It's all right.
Florina: Meep...
Lyn: Listen, she's obviously sorry. Can't we just let this pass? You don't appear to be injured or anything.
Me: He said that his FRIEND was trampled, not him.
Lyn: Whose side are you on, anyway??
Bandit: In any case...The girl goes with us---by force if need be!
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Post by anasa on Jul 17, 2008 18:47:39 GMT -5
Bandit: C'mon out now, boys! The men are fair game, but don't put a scratch on the girls! Me: Why do bandits always have to hide like that?! There are only, like, TWO houses on this map! WHERE DID THEY COME FROM??!! Lyn: Anasa! We've got to fight back! Florina: Lyn...I... Lyn: You're a pegasus knight, aren't you? You can fight, can't you? Florina:...yes! Lyn: Listen carefully, Anasa. We're facing bandits. Me: Gee. Ya think? Lyn: The layout here might make it difficult to fight. Me: I agree. Let's go bother the villagers! Narrator: The red-roofed buildings are VILLAGES. Me: B Button!!!!! Narrator: Why?  ? T_T |
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Post by anasa on Jul 17, 2008 18:54:53 GMT -5
Lyn: Is anyone there?
Villagers: Leave us alone, you thugs! Go away! Go away! We've no more gold for you!
Lyn: No, wait! Please! We're not bandits! We just want to take your possessions and not pay for them!
Villagers: Isn't that the same thing?!
Lyn: Um....
??: Remain inside, everyone. I'll go see what's happening.
*Wil walks out*
Wil: Hey! You're not old or ugly! You can't be a bad guy! So, who are you?
Lyn: My name is Lyn. My friends and I saw some bandits and decided to get involved for no reason! Yeah...that's it...
Wil: Hey! Wait! The name's Wil. I'm a travaler of sorts, too. Listen, I just ate at a REALLY ritzy resteraunt, and now I can't pay for it! Mind if I join you?
Me: Not at all! @_@ *drool*
Wil: Um.......*is a bit creeped out*
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Post by Lan on Jul 17, 2008 21:26:11 GMT -5
((Hallo...my name is inigo montoya...you killed my fatha..prepare to die... LOL
BEST MOVIE EVER Xd))
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Post by anasa on Jul 17, 2008 22:51:04 GMT -5
R.O.U.S.-es pwn all.  |
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Post by anasa on Jul 28, 2008 19:30:57 GMT -5
[scene missing] Anasa: Wow! What a SPECTACULAR battle! Lyn: So, Florina...did you honestly search blindly around the Sacaen plains for me, even though they're thousands of miles long? Florina: It seemed like a good idea at the time. T_T Lyn: Well, you've already been under Anasa's command once, so I suppose that means that you and Wil are staying with us. Wil: Huh?! What?? Anasa: Mwahahaha. I've tagged you.  Wil: *sigh* Fine then. Florina: Meep? Anasa: Uh-oh...you know what this means, right? Lyn: No, what? Anasa: With the addition of Florina, we have people with blue and PURPLE hair! What next, GREEN? Lowen: Huh? Sain (to Florina): Hey, baby! You're so fly, you don't NEED a pegasus! Everybody:.................................. ........................ ............... ....... .... Sain: Heh heh. Get it? "Fly?" "Pegasus???" Hahahaha? ^_^| Everybody: ....................... ................ .......... ..... Sain: Well, they can't all be good! |
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Post by anasa on Jul 30, 2008 14:54:26 GMT -5
Me: Hello, everyone! Here at Fractured Emblem, we all just want to have a good laugh, but there are times when the laughing must stop. There are also times when we must copy off of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged.
Lyn: We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our Narrator, who was savagely killed by Anasa when she decided to omit his part in the series.
Kent: Couldn't you have just fired him??
Me: Oh, the tragedy!! T_T
-Chapter 4: In Occupation's Shadow-
Bandit guy: It's time to avenge the death of Migal, who was beaten at the hands of a mere blue-haired child! And the poor narrator!!!
Bandit guy with horrible teeth: Right! We'll kill each and every one of them, even if it takes us all night!
Bandit guy: NO! We're going to stick around for about 11 turns, then leave as soon as it gets dark!
Bandit guy with horrible teeth: .........why do I even stay with you?
Bandit guy: Dental care, my friend. Dental care.
[Meanwhile...]
Me: *sigh* Wherefore art thou, Eliwood?
Wil: What's wrong with her?
Lyn: Oh. She didn't get to make any jokes about her fangirl obsession with Eliwood in our last chapter, so she's making up for it now.
Wil: Who's Eliwood?
[They arrive at an old fortress.]
Wil: Ah! Here we are! Room and bedding for the night!
Sain: But I'm allergic to moss. T_T
Natalie: Oh. Hello, there.
Lyn: Oh! Hello. We had no idea there was already someone in here.
Natalie: My name is Natalie, I've travelled a long way from home in search of my husband, Dorcas. Have you seen him?
Lyn: No. I'm afraid I haven't.
Natalie: Well, I drew a sketch of him.
[She hands over a drawing of a poorly drawn stick-person.]
Me: Okay, then. -_-| We'll be on the look-out for really skinny guys with no hands or feet.
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Post by anasa on Aug 13, 2008 17:07:50 GMT -5
[Bandits appear.]
Lyn: Natalie! we have to get you to a safe place!
Natalie: But, my leg is ravaged from a childhood disease. I can't!
Me: Then, how did you get all the way out here in the first place?
Lyn: Never mind that. We'll just have to stay here and gaurd her. Anasa, you help gaurd the front entrance.
Me: With what? My bossiness???
Lyn: Oh. Good point. Come with me, then.
[Dorcas attacks Lyn.]
Lyn: Huh? That soldier that attacked me...He resembles the sketch Natalie showed me!
Me: Huh? He does??
Lyn: Plus, he's wearing a nametag that says "Dorcas, husband of Natalie. Yes, the Natalie you're looking for."
Me: Oh. Well, that makes things easier.
Lyn: Hey, you! Dorcas! Why are you cooperating with these bandits?
Dorcas: It's my wife, Natalie. I had to go out and earn money to help treat her leg, and jobs are so scarce around here.
Me: Think, Dorcas! What would your wife say if she knew you were doing this?!
[Dorcas thinks.]
Natalie (in Dorcas's mind) : Get the money, you silly man!
Lyn: But, we're gaurding Natalie here! In this fortress!
Dorcas: Oh. That changes things.
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Post by anasa on Aug 13, 2008 17:15:10 GMT -5
[Many turns later...]
Kent: That's strange. They just up and left as soon as it got dark.
Sain: Perhaps they needed to fetch their nightlights.
Wil: OR they had somewhere else they needed to be. Like a party, or something.
Me: They're nameless henchmen! Everyone knows that nameless henchmen don't party!
Sain: Wait a second....Party=WOMEN!!!! TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[He has to be dragged back by Kent.]
Dorcas: Natalie! I'm so happy to see you again! Seriously!
Natalie: Then why do you still have a blank expression on your face?
Dorcas: Just trust me.
Dorcas: I will return here tomorrow at sunrise.
Lyn: Why can't we just say goodbye here?
Dorcas: Well, Anasa has invited me to your group. I've talked it over with Natalie, and I've decided to come along.
Lyn: You do realize that you're never getting paid for this, right?
Dorcas: What?
Me: Oh, nothing.....
Nothing at ALL.....
............
.....
ELIWOOD!!!!!!!!!
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Post by anasa on Aug 13, 2008 17:26:42 GMT -5
-Chapter 5: Beyond the Borders (Hey! That sounds like a Mexican resteraunt!)-
Lyn: Hey, Florina. Have you ever noticed how all of the village people look EXACTLY the same?
Florina: No, they don't. One's a cowboy...one's an indian...Oh! You mean the villagers! Yes, they do look alike, no matter what village we go to. I wonder why that is?
Lyn: One word: inbreeding.
Florina: Inbreeding? What's that?
Lyn: Well, it's...it's, uh.....well, you see....when a man and a woman love each other VERY much, they....how should I put this? Just...just forget I said anything.
SUPPORT LEVEL INCREASED!
Florina: Huh? That was a support conversation?
Lyn: That's got to be the worst support conversation in the entire game!
Me: "Fractured Emblem" is brought to you in part by The Fourth Wall! "It's breakable!"
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Post by Bastian Farix on Aug 15, 2008 14:43:16 GMT -5
Oh man, that is too funny. XD You know, I almost got the GBA version of the first Fire Emblem. But it was more expensive than another game I wanted, so I got the other one since my grandma was paying. SO I got Golden Sun instead. ;D I also got Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, so I'm happy. ;D But anyway, good job. XD
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? T_T
